When I die, I want my grave to offer free Wifi so that people visit more often.
I love food and sleep. If I give you a bit of food or text you all night, that means something.
Diets are hard because I get hungry.
We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.
Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
God is really creative, I mean...just look at m!!!
I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving mode.
Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
Whenever i have a problem, I just sing, Then i realize my voice is worse than my problem.
Stay strong, make them wonder how you’re still smiling.
Stay strong, make them wonder how you’re still smiling.
Come in my Heart and pay no rent.
If you don’t care, stop talking about it.
I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy shits.
Attitude is like underwear Don’t show it just wore it!
My heart is stolen…can I check your bra?
Beautiful face, Beautiful body, Horrible attitude. It was the holy trinity of hot boys.
I don’t insult people, I just describe them.
I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
No matter how much I try to forget you, you’ll always be a part of me.
God is really creative, I mean …just look at me!
I hate when people look at my phone while I’m typing. It’s not that I have something to hide…
It’s just none of their damn business :/
You will find a girl prettier than me, smarter than me, and funnier than me, but you will never find a girl just like me.
Sometimes I feel like giving up, then I remember I ‘ve a lot of motherf**kers to prove wrong.
If you love me raise your hand & you don’t then raise your standard.
I am Neither Batman Nor Superman However I am superhero for my women..!
Beauty Fades After Time, But Personality Is Forever!
I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
Stop checking my status ! Go Get A Life
I don’t have time to hate people, who hate me.because, I’m too busy in loving people who love me.
I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card.
Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
No matter how “busy” a person is, if they really care, they will always find the time for you.
Love is cute when it’s new, but love is most beautiful when it last.
Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status.
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
I don’t have a dirty mind, I have sexy imaginations.
My favorite kind of people are the relatives who give money when they leave.
Be a good person in life, but be bad on the bed.
Food, Water, Sleep, Love, Whatsapp, Repeat it.
If a man whistles at you, don’t turn around. You are a lady, not a dog.
Don’t play stupid with me, I am better at it.
I need a Google in my mind and an Anti-virus in my heart.
A heart that loves is always young.
Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up in your dreams.
If you only knew how much those little moment with you mattered to me.
I still fall for you everyday
Texts from you are always saved …. In my <3
I rather tell you “SEE YOU LATER” instead “GOOD BYE”
Your Eyes…. I always get lost in them.
We should love, Not fall in love...Because everything that falls, gets broken....
I am "SINGLE" Because I have not found someone, who deserves ME...!
If nobody love you, then you are doing something wrong..!.
ME without you is like: "Facebook" without friends, "Google" with no results & "Youtube" without videos!
I am type of person ,who wants to get good Marks, but doesn’t want to study!
!I might as well call you Google, B,coz you have everything that I am looking for....
My first name and your last name ,together make sound great!..
All man are not fools, some stay bachelors.!
God made every person different, He got tired! when time he got to china...
The greatest pleasure in Life is that what people say you can’t do.!
I am not failed, Because my success is lost.!
Real relationship is that in which we fight love trust each other.!
Don't talk to me B'coz I was attached easily!
People who are closed mind always open their mouth!
I DON’T NEED A HAIR STYLIST, MY PILLOW GIVES ME A NEW HAIRSTYLE EVERY MORNING.
I DON’T NEED A HAIR STYLIST, MY PILLOW GIVES ME A NEW HAIRSTYLE EVERY MORNING.
I WEAR MY COOL ON THE INSIDE; THAT’S WHY MY HANDS ARE ALWAYS SO COLD.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, OR SHOULD I WALK BY AGAIN?
YESTERDAY I DID NOTHING AND TODAY I’M FINISHING WHAT I DID YESTERDAY.
IT’S SO TRENDY, ALMOST BLEEDING TO DEATH. ALL THE COOL GIRLS ARE DOING IT.
A BUSINESS THAT MAKES NOTHING BUT MONEY IS A POOR BUSINESS.
I’M SORRY THAT I’M NOT UPDATING MY FACEBOOK STATUS, MY CAT ATE MY MOUSE.
IF YOU WANT A GOOD GOLF SWING ADJUST THE NUT AT THE OTHER END OF THE CLUB!
I look at people sometimes and think... Really??? That’s the sperm that won.
Love may be blind, but marriage work like an eye-opener.
Life on earth is expensive, but it includes a free trip around the sun.
I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
Men who are bad with eye contact needs to know, Breasts don’t have eyes.
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?
If someone hates you for no reason, give him 1
You are proof that evolution sometimes CAN go in reverse.
Money talks ….. Mine know only one word- GOOD BYE.
My Ex: Can you delete my number, I- who is this?
I don’t think you act stupid, I believe you are.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Yes! Before we met.
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom manufacturer.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Out of 5 finger 3rd is for you.
Sometimes I wish why I am not born with enough middle fingers to explain how I feel about you.
You’re ugly as if your dad drops you at college he got fine for littering.
I don’t hate you! It’s just like if you’re on fire and I have water, I’ll prefer drinking it.
I could slap you but I know shit stinks.
God has a great sense of Humor, You’re the proof.
Don’t feel sad, Voldemort is ugly too.
You’re like a knitted condom – both useless
I fart in public only if I have to make someone smell good.
Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby.
Named FB account NO ONE, So I can like your stupid posts to tell NO ONE likes it.
Call me NOBODY, because NOBODY is perfect
Con is the opposite of Pro so does that mean Congress is Opposite of Progress?
Why do fart smell, so deaf people can enjoy it too.
When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
“F#%K It.” – my final thought before making most decisions.
If I delete your number, you’re basically deleted from my life.
Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.
Whenever I think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think.
Relation of friendship is greater then the relation of blood.
When I miss you I re-read our old conversations and smile like an idiot.
When I miss you it seems every song I listen to is about you.
My silence/smile is just another word for my pain.
Sometimes It’s better to be alone…No one can hurt you.
The most painful goodbye’s are those which were never said and never explained.
Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.
Sometimes I’m not angry, I’m hurt and there’s a big difference.
My silence doesn’t mean that I quit… It simply means that I don’t want to argue with people who just don’t want to understand!
Don’t be so happy, I don’t really forgive people, I just pretend like it’s okay and wait for my turn to destroy them.
If you want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up.
I don't have dirty mind, I have sexy imagination.
The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said.
I'm not failed... my success is just postponed.
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.
Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.
My silence doesn’t mean that I quit… It simply means that I don’t want to argue with people who just don’t want to understand!!!
I Don’t Care About Popularity. I Live In Reality. Based On Originality. Forget Looks. I Respect Personality.
There is no market for YOUR EMOTIONS, so never advertise your FEELINGS just display YOUR ATTITUDE!
I’m not going to feel sorry for myself anymore. If you were stupid enough to walk away, I’ll be smart enough to let you go.
Admit it, you are not the same person you were a year ago.
Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
You are the first person who has been able to make my heart beat slower and faster at the same time.
Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine.
God was showing off when He created you.
The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time and goodbye for the last.
Don’t waste your time with explanations, people only hear what they want to hear.
Life is so much better when you stop caring about what everyone thinks and start to actually live for yourself.
Most emotional moment in a boy’s life, When a girl says, Can you give me your number
Don’t TRUST too much, don’t LOVE too much, don’t CARE too much because that ‘ to MUCH ‘ will HURT you so much!
Don’t cheat. If you’re not happy just leave.
Perfect boyfriend: Does not drink, does not smoke, does not cheat and also Does not exist
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